First off, good luck with your decision, I have a 2011 and love it.
When it comes to towing, there are a number of members that tow some very large trailers, it would be good to here from them. I tow an 18 foot boat and it weighs approx. 3500lbs not loaded plus about 500lbs for the trailer. Most times, I do not have to travel far, to get to where I want to launch. Every once and a while I drive an hour plus, to get somewhere further up the coast. Part of that highway has some long steep hills. I have had no problems towing and even pass other vehicles. Most of the time I do not even know I am towing.
One suggest, that I learned on this forum is about the Airlift 1000 or Firestone Coil-Rite 4166 rear spring air bags. They make a big difference in keeping the rear of the truck from sagging. No bouncing either. Geez, I think my last three posts I mention this...I don't work for the company that sells these...honest. It's just a really good modification to the Pathfinder.
Also, the pathfinder comes with a 4 pin electrical connection, I think the Pilot comes with a 7 pin. Again, a number of members have made the conversion from 4 to 7 pin. I only need a 4 pin, for my boat trailer.
As for gas milage, it really depends on where and how you drive. There are a number of posts, on this forum and the average seems to be 20+MPG Highway and 15MPG city. I have attached one link for you to take a look at. If you go to the search field, type in gas milage a number of other posts will show up. You can also type in Airlift 1000 or Coil Rite to read on this as well.
Latestly, how does the Pathfinder hold up these days? I assume you mean how reliable. All I can tell you is that mine is 18 months old and I haven't had one issue. Runs and looks great. The only thing that I would comment on is that the rear tailgate does not lift very high on its own, I have to push it up to the maximum height. This seems to be a common issue with Pathfinders, the strut does seem strong enough. That being said, the very resourceful members, of this forum have found better ones on line. You can search this topic too.
All said and done, I love my Pathfinder, it does everything I want it to and I do not mind the gas milage, even if my wife's car gets twice the milage the Pathy does.
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