Hey Mark,
First, I should let you know that I am not a "guru" but I have learned a fair bit from the folks on this site. There are a number of very smart and helpful people here.
Sorry, to hear your ride feels rough. I know these are not sedans but I don't really have any issues, with the way mine rides. That being said, I do have an LE and am not sure if the suspension is different than the S. Maybe the LE has a smoother ride, being the "Luxury" version. Not sure if you can call a Pathfinder a luxury vehicle though.
I am currently not much of an off roader but do go to some remote lakes, to fish and drive logging and mining roads in Northern BC and the Rockies. I was looking for something more suitable and wanted to lift the Pathy at the same time. Not being a serious off roader, I did not want anything to elaborate or costly either. I also do a lot of highway driving to get to these areas. That being said, the highways, in BC, are not like the Interstates you have in the USA, there are a lot of winding roads. The air bags made a big difference for towing, keeping the back from sagging and help reduce body roll.
For the front, I went with the Rancho's for three reasons. One, they are adjustable for ride quality with 9 settings. I can dial them for highway driving and then adjust for the logging and mining roads as well as some off roading. The Bilstein front struts are adjustable for ride height, from 0 to 2" but are not adjustable for ride quality as far as I can tell. I think that is why doctahjones is at 1.5" lift in the front. He may still be able to adjust to 2", you would have to ask him. Two, the Rancho coil overs should be a direct bolt on replacement making the installation easier and faster than just the strut. Bilstein did not have a coil over design. Three, the Rancho Quick lift will provide a 2" lift with no additional parts.
For the rear, I went with the Bilstein HD shocks and the 4x4 parts rear spring. The spring provides the 2" lift. I chose the Bilstein, over the Rancho's for a couple of reasons, partly by the recommendation from 4x4 parts and what I have read on these threads. Seems like a number of owners have had good things to say about the Bilstein's. 4x4 parts said they have had better responses with the Bilsteins's than the Rancho's, for the rear. The Bilstien's say they can be independently tuned for ride comfort and performance. So I should be able to adjust the front and back and find a comfortable ride no matter what I am driving on. Time will tell.